miércoles, 21 de octubre de 2009

AUTOBIOGRAFÍA (LI) - Tirano y okupa


Las anécdotas también forman parte de las autobiografías, porque muchas veces, más de las que nos imaginamos, son reveladoras de ciertas actitudes humanas, y poseen por ello una mayor trascendencia de lo que a simple vista pudiera parecer.

La foto no hace justicia a lo que por detrás de ella se puede encontrar. Y he aquí la anécdota que no solo lo es: al regresar a casa después del trabajo hemos comprobado atónitos cómo el Ayuntamiento ya ha empezado a montar el triste espectáculo de despilfarro lumínico típico de todas las Navidades. Pero esta vez, la zarigüeya burocrática de Gallardón ha decidido joder un poco más de lo habitual. Por el decreto treinta y tres (o por el cincuenta y cinco, de sustanciosa rima) ha decidido montar el teatrito de los quinientos mil euros anuales en gastos absurdos también en mi calle, o sea, que va a instalar bombillitas de colores también frente a mi balcón. El asunto sería solo grave dicho así, pero, además, el olímpico alcalde se toma la libertad de atar en MI balcón un cable que mantiene tirante la instalación donde un camello ridículo o una estrella patética de bombillas perturbará la paz de mis días y también de mis noches. Y lo ha hecho sin nuestro permiso. Nadie nos preguntó ni nadie quiso saber qué era lo que pensábamos al respecto. Quizás debieran descontarme la parte proporcional del impuesto sobre bienes inmuebles que religiosamente pago, o tal vez pagarme una cuota en concepto de alquiler. Gallarón se ha convertido también en un okupa, invadiendo mi casa sin que nadie reparara en nosotros, sin ni siquiera la deferencia de solicitar amables nuestro permiso, aunque mi respuesta, fuera cual fuera, nada le importase.

Este personaje triste, el padre de la deuda de la M-30, el okupa también de La Cibeles, el que pretende cobrar a cada ciudadano más de noventa euros como impuesto de basura, cobrándonoslo dos veces, el alcalde que no crea escuelas infantiles y el regidor que ejerce el liberalismo invadiendo uno de los dos balcones de mi casa para gastarse nuestro dinero en tiempos de crisis, lo ejerce en un sentido más que literal, radical: entiende la libertad como ese ejercicio hipócrita, autoritario y vergonzoso de pensar que “libertad” es hacer lo que se le pone a uno en los cojones.

Y por último: se me ocurre que de los suyos propios, es decir, de sus cojones, podría colgar las bombillas luminosas, y no de mi balcón como si fuera el suyo. Lo triste es que como borregos hay quien acepta rumiando y sin pensar las directrices de los que ejercen su poder con la seguridad de que nadie va a decirles nunca no. Y así nos va: está bien dejarnos robar incluso el balcón de nuestra casa, ya nada más que robarnos, porque ni dignidad nos queda cada vez que asentimos como torpes merinos al todo vale de los que nos gobiernan, o piensan que su cargo es vitalicio y de esos también hay muchos. Atajo de golfos. Digámoslo con la castiza piedá con que ellos nos tratan.




52 comentarios:

Prudencio Salces dijo...

Lo que te dije, Luis, una demostración de sapiencia sobre las maravillas y tópicos de Nueva York nos interesa mucho más que lo cotidiano de nuestro barrio.

¿Pero no habrá manera humana de demandar a Gallardón por usar nuestras ventanas sin permiso ni aviso? ¿Pero cuánto nos costaría el pleito? ¿Tendríamos que vender la vivienda y aun así quedaría por ver la resolución judicial, a nuestro favor o en contra?

De cualquier modo, pienso que es todavía más injusto, o cuanto menos arbitrario, que durante esa semana llamada santa para el turisteo, las calles de mi pueblo hayan de ser desalojadas de vehículos para que las procesiones nos alteren el buen humor de la primavera. Y todo eso sin que a las cofradías ni a la iglesia les cueste un duro, gratis y además con la colaboración municipal a su servicio, mientras que cualquier probretico que se gane la vida con su taberna si, llegando el buen tiempo, quiere sacar unas mesas a la acera tiene que pagar por metro cuadrado que utilice.

Bueno, no nos irritemos hasta la cólera por unas lucecitas más en Lavapiés. ¿Y lo bonito que verán los inmigrantes su barrio de acogida? ¿No te parece piadoso tratándose de que la cristiandad "celebra" la natividad de alguien que no está registrado en la historia de la humanidad?

Saludos y buenas vibraciones

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Hola Luis, recién llegado del frío de Lituania, de no ver el sol duante siete días, compruebo con tristeza que aquí nada ha cambiado y está aún más nublado que en esas pobres tierras. Cuando uno oye hablar de un dolor que padece y conoce se siente muy afligido.

Efectivamente, Pruden, nos hemos dejado convencer de que nuestra realidad cercana y diaria no vale la pena, para qué construir una casa si puedo soñar con palacios.

Saludos.

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La solución se me ocurre sencilla y rápida: CORTA EL CABLE. Es más, si no quieres cortarlo tu, me ofrezco yo a cortarlo mañana mismo, incluso llevo yo el arma del delito: LAS TENAZAS, con las cuales habría que, además de cortar el cable, cortarle los huevos a más de un alcalde.
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Jesús, lo malo que tendría usar las tenazas es que los huevos no podrás cortárselos al alcalde, sino al sicario que te lleve a la cárcel. Pero estoy de acuerdo con tu propuesta, tanto mejor si se plantea con la vecindad. Pero eso ya es harina de costal.
Me alegro saludarte, hombre, ya que te veo tan resolutivo ante los alambres como para reír.

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Ese debe de ser el Jesús que yo conozco. Me apunto a lo de las tenazas, pero en tanto nos decidimos, creo Luis que podías escribir al Ayuntamiento. Yo lo hago de vez en cuando, en su web hay un apartado para ello. Por lo menos que no crean que estamos encantados de sostener y aguantar sus engendros.
Por cierto, lo del camellito lumínico en Lavapiés tendría su gracia. Hay que joderse.

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Ejem...Vistos los comentarios, espero que una vez solventado el problema del balcón no traslademos el argumento a la medianería...De darse la conjetura, os ruego encarecidamente que obvies cualquier uso irresponsable de las tenazas. De no ser ello posible por ser la incontinencia irresistible, por ¿Dios?, mirad previo que no pase nadie¡¡¡ Se me ocurre que de acontecer la tragedia, una buena excusa que dar en el talego, sería decir que todo fue por culpa del puto camello.

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Many users have some questions like: How to burn protected iTunes TV show to DVD? How to burn iTunes movies to DVD? How to burn movies from iTunes to DVD? In a word, they want to burn DRM protected iTunes videos/movies/TV shows to DVD playable on home DVD player or enjoy them on TV.
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If you are a single guy and aren't the recommended at getting quite a bit much less meeting girls and are questioning where exactly you can go to acquire and get together a girl, then these ten reasonable guidelines on how to satisfy a young lady along at the shopping mall, have to come in mighty handy.

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Winning the Game

The moment you figured out you won, you must immediately yell BINGO, and it should be loud enough for the floor walker to hear. The pot money shall be given to the winner once their winning card is confirmed. Well, in winning or once you know you just won, the most important thing is that you shout the winning word BEFORE the time elapses. If the game proceeds and the next number is mentioned and you failed to shout "Bingo", your winning card is disqualified. Therefore, this is the rule you must know.

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